"Do I Rook 83?"

My 4'ft9" tall, 83 year old Granny still drives a car. Even I think this is insane. One day she called and asked me if I could help her get new car insurance. She had just received her annual statement and her rates had gone up considerably. She was ticked. She was complaining to me about how expensive it was and she was refusing to pay it. She literally said to me, "Bikki, why du I need to pay so much? I only drive to Walmart and back once a week. I not gonna pay it. It's ree-dick-u-las!" I said, "Granny, it doesn't matter how far you drive, you have to have insurance. It's the law!"

After convincing Granny that she wouldn't want to spend her silver years behind bars, she calmed down. Well, a little bit. I started making phone calls to insurance companies. The quotes were all $950+ and she was getting more and more agitated. She said, "Bikki, jew come back tomorrow and we drive to town to rook around." Granny has no concept that it's a 30 minute drive for me one way to her house, but nobody can say no to sweet Granny! So, I agreed to come back.

When I arrived the next morning, Granny was ready to go. She had her purse, hat and gloves on and we made the 15 minute trip into town. We met with an insurance agent who turned out to be a very patient and understanding man. Granny answered all of his questions. We sat and waited for the verdict! We couldn't believe it, the quote was $200 less than the 7 quotes we'd received a day earlier! I was so excited. She seemed happy about it too. Then she looked at the man and said, "Well, let me tink about it." I was stunned. "Granny, this is the best price we've gotten in two days, you need to just do it!" She said, "No, Bikki, I gonna tink about it. Goodbye and Tank you." So, we left.

When we got in the car, I said, "Granny, why?" She said, "I not gonna let him tink I gonna buy on dee spot. Bikki, you come back tomorrow and we gonna buy it." Now I was the one who was ticked.

I made the trip back home again only to return the next morning. We made our 2nd trip into town and walked through the insurance office. The nice man remembered us and was happy to see us. Granny told him she was ready to sign up. He said, "Great, come on back!"

He started up his computer to enter all of Granny's information. He began to ask her questions like the spelling of her name, address, etc. etc. Then he asked for her driver's license. She handed it to him. He looked at it and then looked up quite confused. I said, "Is something wrong?" He looked over at my Granny, "Esperanza, this driver's license says you were born in 1924. Is that right? " Granny said, "Jes." He continued. "That's not what you told me yesterday. Well, that's going to change your rate a bit. Let's see here. The rate is now $900.00." I thought Granny was going to come off her chair.

She looked at him, pointed her finger and said, "$900! How can be so much now? Jew told me jesterday it was $700!" He said, "Well, Esperanza, yesterday you were 73. How come you didn't say anything when I got your age wrong yesterday?"

And my precious little Granny looked at the nice man, batted her eyes and with a big smile on her face said,

"Well, du I rook 83?"