Crap Happens

You've stepped in dog crap before, right?  Seriously, haven't we all?  Probably most of us more than once if we're honest.  Or is it just me?

I hope you've surmised that I'm not just talking literal here.  I don't think I'm assuming too much to believe that my readers are fairly intelligent people.

I've stepped on crap many times.  Just to name a few, I've married the wrong men (yes, plural).  I've hurt people who didn't deserve it (and some that did), said things to my daughter's in anger that I immediately regretted, gotten involved in bad business deals, gambled money away, spent $50,000 on a pool I didn't need, moved to a state that I hated for 3 years (although it was for a good reason at the time), and so on and so on.  So, when it does happen, what should we do about it?  Wallow in it, have pity parties, throw a temper tantrum?  Don't get me wrong.  A good cry, scream or breaking something might help in the moment and makes for good immediate gratification, but eventually (hopefully sooner than later), you've got to grasp the situation, think logically and clean that @#$% off.  (Thankfully, most of the time God can and does turn our crap into something that smells good.)

No doubt, I've stepped on a lot of crap in my life.  Elephant sized crap.  I've concluded that the best thing to do is simply look at it, acknowledge it, wipe it off and then walk on.  What's the use of getting upset about it?  You can't change it.  The past is the past, including the crap.  God forbid we fail to learn from it. 

Hopefully next time, and there will be a next time, as we're approaching that next pile of dung, we'll have a keener sense of smell, notice the stench of it, turn around or proceed to walk around it.

And that, my friends, comes only from the experience of stepping in it in the first place.

Is Anybody Out There?

I want to know who you are.  I want to know what you'd like me to write about, maybe you have suggestions?  Or maybe there are questions I've haven't answered in past blogs that you'd like answers to.  Does it matter to you if I never write another blog?

So, my request is this.  If you can take a minute to send a quick email to RobinVictoria64@gmail.com, to just let me know you're reading, I'd appreciat it.  For some reason, most of you don't like to leave comments.  That's fine with me, I get it.  I don't take issue with that.

But, with over 900 people reading my blog in the past 3 weeks alone, I want to know who you are or if there's a glitch in the count.

Won't you please just send a quick note?  I promise I won't sell your email address to anyone or pass along your information.  This is for MY eyes only. 

Are you a friend from my past?  Or maybe an enemy?  A new friend?  Maybe you've been to one of my seminars and you've become a faithful reader?  No matter the reason, hit me up!

I look forward to hearing from you :)

Victoria

Happy Birthday Kendra Taylor!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful Sweet Pea, Kendra Taylor.  Twenty years ago today, I huffed and puffed and brought you into the world and it was the most wonderful day of my life.

I am so proud of you and the woman you've become.  Congratulations on making the Dean's List, being the woman of character that you are and the daughter and sister you've become.  You are a daughter that I'm proud of and I'm truly blessed to be your mother.

I love you, baby girl, high as the sky, deep as the sea and all the air that's in between.

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea.

I NEED MEN!

I love checking the stats of my blog every few days to see how many of you are actually reading it.  I enjoy writing, it's a form of therapy for me.  At the moment, I'm working on my 2nd book called "They Lied to Us Too".  My first book, "They Lied to Us" is filled with stories from women who had an abortion themselves or were involved in making one happen.  This second book will come from the man's perspective of how an abortion impacted his life.

Are you a post-abortive man?  Did your wife, girlfriend or someone you know have an abortion?  Did you take her, talk her into it, pay for it or just know about it and somehow it's affected your life?  Do you have a story to tell?  Abortion can affect everyone involved, not just the woman having it.  Maybe as a man you didn't think it would have any type of consequence for you and you've found out through the years that it did.

If you're a man and you want your story to be heard, please contact me.  You can remain anonymous if you choose.  You can change the names in your story if you like.  All I ask is that you're honest.  You can write it yourself or I'll be happy to "interview" you, hear your story and write it for you.  But, I need you and others need to hear from you too.

Have I piqued your interest?  Would you like to hear more?  There's no obligation once you get in touch with me.  So, if you're willing to hear more about the book and how you can be involved, please email me at RobinVictoria64@gmail.com.  Your story could help someone.

I look forward to hearing from you!

"Real Talk"

What?  You're hosting a radio show now?  Yup.

For the past 9 months, I've been hosting a show on FOXSports Radio called, "Real Talk" with Victoria, where I discuss anything and everything that's on my mind, current newsworthy events, whatever else seems fascinating and bringing in great, interesting guests. 

Please tune in every Thursday afternoon from 4-5pm central time.  Soon, we'll be taking your calls, comments and questions live on the air!  We're even setting up a live webcast so you'll be able to watch the show too! 

Listen online at http://wmrb.streamon.fm/# 

Thanks for your support!

Victoria

To Date or Not to Date?

My daughter, Kolby, wants to start dating.  In my house, the rule has always been no dating until  16 years old.  She just had a birthday May 14.  She's now 16.  The "magic" number.  This does not in any way mean that on my daughter's respective 16th birthdays, it became a rite of passage.  It just means that at 16, we can sit down and explore the possibilities of dating someone. 

When I was 16, I got married the first time.  There is no doubt in my mind that my own experience as a married teenager wharped my mind.  Actually, that's probably an understatement.  I'm  happy to say that all of my daughter's have reached this magical age, without a marriage ceremony or elopement.  And that's a good thing.  I'd like to think it had something to do with the way I've raised them?  On the other hand, my girls' would probably say it's because they're much smarter than I was at 16.  They find it insane that I was married at 16 and I must admit I agree with them.

Kolby has a strong interest in a guy, who apparently is worth her approaching the subject with me.  So far, I've found this young man to be quite impressive.  The fact that he seems to be a heck of a guy brings comfort to me.  It makes me feel confident that my daughter recognizes a good guy when she sees one.

The jury's still out though.  I'll decide soon if I think Kolby's mature enough to embark on this unfamiliar territory.  There's just so much more to teenage dating than the boy/girl relationship to consider.  She doesn't get that yet.  To her, I'm just overbearing, overprotective and ridiculous.  I'm OK with that. 

I'm a Mom.  It's what I do.

"Step" into HELL!!

I am one of those sporadic workout types.  You know the kind, right?  New Year's comes along, set those resolutions, determined to reach them.  This time.....this time, only to find yourself days later making every excuse not to make it to the gym.  Well, I'm proud to say that I've been diligently working out now for 2 months.  I'm determined this time not to let work, family or laziness take over.  For the first time, in a long time, I'm enjoying it too, which is making all the difference.  I've lost 7 lbs and can actually see my body changing, which is a great motivating factor.  As I was looking back over some old posts, I came across this one and wanted to share it with the many new reader's of my blog.  I hope it'll make you laugh like it did for me.  I remember this day like it was last week.  Although, I have no desire or intention to try another step class, it made for a memory.  Here it is:

I took a step class the other night. Pure torture. I hated it. I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. At 43, I am proud of the fact that I can still wear a size 4 and I've maintained my weight since I was in my 20's. I work out regularly, although if it's raining, cold, I'm tired, stressed, lazy or one of my favorite shows is on, I skip it.

But last Thursday, motivated by the promises to have a tight butt and shapely legs again, I decided to give step class a try. I was feeling really good about my decision. With my Nike workout clothes and shoes, I made the drive to the Y. You'd think I was a pro, arriving to class with my towel and water bottle in hand.

As I walked into Studio A, I proceeded to the closet to pick up the torture device (or whatever you call that blue plastic thing) and placed it in the middle of the room. I was pumped and ready to go. In 45 short minutes, my body would be transformed! That was all the motivation this woman needed!

I looked around the room checking everybody else out. I wondered if they were "virgin" steppers like me. The instructor walked in. Hmmm, she looks a little older than I am, if she can do this, so can I.

It was time for class to start. The instructor took her place in the front of the room. The music began, to which I was pleasantly surprised to find it to be a mix of the 70's and 80's. Not only was I going to leave this class with my rock hard butt, I was going to have fun doing it, singing along to my favorite tunes!

She proceeded to tell us to begin by marching in place. I can do that! Years ago, I taught 9 aerobic classes a week, I know how to march in place! She started the class with the "basics". Hey, I was really getting the hang of this. I felt like a natural and feeling pretty good about myself. Like a duck to water. Then suddenly, something happened that changed everything! The instructor started going in all kinds of different directions. She started doing some kind of turn arounds on the step thingy and then she starting talking about "straddling" and "hopping" and "squatting", among many other things I have blocked from my memory......forever.

She announced, "Now those of you who are new (from the looks of the other confused participants in the room, that would be 95% of us) just hang in there, you'll get it". As soon as we would start to get a move down, she'd change it again. Then again and again and again. You get the picture.

I started to get so frustrated, I decided to rebel. I didn't care where she went or what she did on that stepper thing, I was sticking to the "basics". Under my breath, I must confess, I referred to her as a female dog more than once. Then, finally, it was over. I'd survived. Vowing to never return.

I'm sticking to the treadmill.

She's 30!

I'm in total shock today.  My oldest baby has reached a new milestone in her life, as have I.  Today, my daughter has turned 30. Yes, I have a 30 year old, adult, married daughter who's also the mother to my 3 year old granddaughter.  Unbelievable shock.  I don't know how else to describe how I'm feeling today. 

My first born.  I was 18 when I had Teryn and just a baby.  I'd already been married almost 2 years, (yes, I married at 16), but I was still a baby myself! 

I remember vividly the day I found out I was pregnant.  My breasts had been hurting so bad for weeks and I didn't know why.  It was freaking me out.  I told Teryn's father I needed to go and get checked out, so I made an appointment to see my gynecologist.  Little did I know this was one of the first signs of being pregnant.  I was just a kid.  Every thought was going through my mind.  Was something wrong with me?  Did I have a disease?  Darnit, I'm only 18, why do my boobs hurt so bad?!?  Of course, 4 daughter's and 30 years later, I understand tender breasts are a first sign of pregnancy.

I drove myself to the doctor, rehearshing what I'd say to him.  I felt so embarassed to tell him why I was there.  When I got into the exam room, the nurse started asking questions.  The doctor ordered a pregnancy test right away, of which I didn't understand at all.  What did my sore, tender breasts have to do with a baby?! I thought.  He was back right away with the news.  "As I suspected, you're pregnant, congratulations!"  I was stunned, excited, scared and couldn't wait to get home.

The drive home was a blur.  I couldn't stop smiling and touching my stomach.  I was having a baby!  There were no cell phones to call anyone.  It was the longest 20 minute drive of my life! 

I clearly remember opening the door to our tiny, duplex apartment to find Teryn's father lying on the floor watching sports.  With a huge smile on my face, I simply said, "Hi Daddy."  He was as shocked as I was. 

Then the phone calls began.  My family was thrilled.  As the oldest and only married daughter, this would be the first grandchild and great-grandchild. 

Like clockwork, the morning sickness began.  And it never stopped til my 5th month.  My sense of smell was so acute that any smell set me off.  We'd just bought a new car and that new smell that I now enjoy so much, made me vomit everytime I got in the car.  We sold it.

I started wearing maternity clothes right away.  I was proud and wanted everyone from the grocery store clerk to the mailman to know I was having a baby!  This was one of the happiest times of my life and I was determined to share it with everyone.  My first pregnancy.  My first baby.  My little T.T.

My marriage to her father didn't work out (that's what happens when you get married at 16), but my relationship with Teryn continues to grow, mature and nurture.  She is my daughter and she is my friend.  I not only love her, I like her very much.  That makes me very happy.

Throughout Teryn's life, (for the most part!), it's been a joy to be her mother.  I'm truly blessed.  Now, she's a mother herself and I can sit back and watch the fruits of my labor.

Happy Birthday, Teryn Brittany, my Little T.T.  I love being your Mommy.  And I love you high as the sky, deep as the sea and all the air that's in between.

He Knows Who I Am!

I'm still in shock and will believe it when it's finalized, but, it looks like, yes, it could really be happening.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed, praying, crossing myself, throwing salt on the floor, meditating, whatever it takes. 

Thanks to a great friend, it looks like I have a very good chance of interviewing Barry backstage in Nashville!  My friend talked to Barry himself, told him about me, my work and how much I LOVED him and his music and this is what Barry Manilow himself said "she sounds really wonderful and I'd love to meet her!"

Does this mean that Barry Manilow kinda, sorta, knows who I am?  I know that's a stretch, but let me have my moment. 

I will keep you posted, but I'm too excited not to share this fantabulous, amazing, wonderful news!

Barry, I'm coming!  "It's a Miracle!"

Barry is Coming to Nashville!

Since I was a little girl, I've LOVED music.  At every chance I had, you'd find me singing and dancing in my room or around the house, in the backyard or up a tree.  Music always took me to another world and in the childhood I grew up in, I longed for those times.

There were my favorites like The Carpenters, Elvis Presley, Helen Reddy, Donny Osmond, Michael Jackson, Dionne Warwick, Eagles, Chicago, Bread!  I loved my records and took such great care of them.  No siblings allowed.  My music meant everything to me. 

But, there were two that were my "special" ones.  I could never get enough of them and wore out my record player listening.  Barbra Streisand and Barry Manilow.  These two weren't human beings to me, they were gods!  I actually thought about them even when I wasn't listening to their music.  I'd wonder what they were doing, who they were with, how they were.  It was crazy!  I dreamed about the day I would be famous because I knew that would be the one way I'd have a chance to meet them both.  I would practice in the mirror what I'd say to each of them and imagined hanging out at their houses and singing by the piano alongside them.  I mean, it is an understatement to say this, but I LOVED them.  "Even Now", I still smile when I hear their songs on the radio (or on my CD player!).

Being that Babs doesn't tour anymore, I had to mourn the fact that my dreams of ever seeing her in person were pretty much over.  Then there was that little business of coming to terms with the fact that since I'll probably never be famous, it was time to let the dream die of meeting them and sharing vacations.

Forunately, Barry IS still singing!  And two days ago, something beautiful happened.  As I was driving home from a speaking engagement, I heard an advertisement on the radio.  It said that tickets are going on sale for a Barry Manilow concert coming to Bridgestone Arena in Nashville on  July 28th Barry Manilow Show!  I was overcome!  I had to pull over.

After a few moments alone, containing myself, I made a promise.   Whatever it takes, however much it costs me, I will be there.  I want to be close enough for him to spit on me while he belts out "Mandy"!!

Friends are laughing at me, they may even think I'm crazy, but I don't care.  I love Barry and I'm going.  I will go alone.  I don't give a rat's @#*& what people think!.  I'm going to see Barry!  My Barry!  Am I dreaming?!  I will imagine he's singing just to me.

So, Barry, I'm coming!  You can count on it.  "I Can't Smile Without You!" and I'm still pinching myself.   

Change

Change.  That word can be really scary.  We are creatures of habit, aren't we?  Some people avoid change like it's a fatal disease.  I've had so much change throughout my own life that I've grown accustomed to it.  Don't know if that's good or bad?

We constantly moved around when I was a kid.  I thought my parent's enjoyed new places.  As I've gotten older, I've come to realize it was because we were being evicted for not paying rent or my dad had lost another job.

Lots of changes going on in my own life and I'm not just talking about the "female" kind.  I'm talking about some of the "big" ones.  My career is expanding and that's good.  I am humbled daily by what God allows me to do.  I've truly and honestly love what I do, so it's not a job to me.  I'm good at it too, praise God.  He's definitely given me the gift of speaking and creativity, a bold personality to deliver pertinent, strong messages and He's thrown in a talent for singing too.  I'm blessed.  I get to do what I love and spend time with people I like.  Not everybody gets to say that.

Over the next few months, I'll be sharing more about some of the changes coming this year for me.  For now, I'm just giving you a head's up.  Or maybe it's a warning?!  Nah.
Even though change can be hard or painful at times, it's not always a bad thing.  I"ve never been one for routine.  Life is too short to do the same mundane things everyday.  We miss too much if we get caught up in a rut.  I've never been the proverbial hamster on a hamster wheel.  I'd go insane.  I like stepping out of the box and enjoy challenging myself and others.

Change.  Yup, it's coming.  And I think I'm ok with that.  Do I really have a choice anyway?  Nope.

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my birthday today.  I was born in 1964, so you can do the numbers if it's that big of a deal.  I still feel like I'm in my 20's, some say I look like I'm still in my 30's and I wouldn't trade the wisdom age has brought me for anything (ok, maybe there is something, but I'll keep that to myself).
I look in the mirror at this woman who is definitely changing and I think, "Who are you and what have you done with me?"  I don't feel as "mature" as my body's telling me I am, which causes this conflict within me.  I heard an 80 year old woman say once that on the inside she's in her 20's, it's the outside that's not cooperating.  I so get that!

Yes, today is my birthday. Sadly, it feels like any other day. It's just not that big of a deal anymore when you get to be my age and that kinda, sorta sucks. Sure, I miss the excitement of a huge birthday party and lots of presents. I miss my dad calling me at 12:01 saying "Happy Birthday Baby Girl!" Come to think of it, I miss a lot of things. Not trying to sound like I'm having a pity party over here because I'm not. I have a great life. I have challenges and obstacles to overcome like everyone else, but I'm truly blessed. Most days for me are special. I have a fantastic family, amazing friends, an incredible career, a nice home and I'm a grandmother to a fantastic kid! 

In the 48 years of my life, I've been married (more than once), I've fallen in love (more than once), I've hurt others (more than once), I've disappointed myself (more than once), I've made mistakes (more than once), I've lied (more than once), I've had children (more than once) and I've cried (more than once).

Life experiences make you better or bitter.  I'd like to think, for the most part, I'm better.  It's not that I haven't had experiences that have made me bitter, don't get me wrong, but I've tried my best not to stay there.  I'm a work in progress. I may not be where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be either!

So, Happy Birthday to Me.  I've said that before (more than once).

Happy Birthday My Lil Pooks

Three years ago today, the most wonderful thing happened in my life.  My oldest daughter, Teryn and her husband, Chad, blessed me with a granddaughter.  Our lives have never been the same.
This tiny person has made such a huge impact on our family since the day she was born.  She's brought us closer together, given us hope when we had none, made us smile when we didn't feel like it and keeps us laughing all the time.  Some days, I just stare at her and tear up at the happiness she brings to my heart.  When I'm going through something rough, I drive to her house just to play with her.  And I forget my troubles.  She truly is "my heart walking around" and makes me want to live longer.

Being a grandmother is one of the greatest joys and blessings I've ever experienced in my life.  I can't imagine our lives without her.  She's got this amazing personality!  She's so smart, funny, sweet, kind and just an all around amazing, little girl! 

I'm convinced that grandchildren are God's reward and blessing to us for putting up with our own children's crap!  So, hang in there, Mom's and Dad's.  If you're experiencing frustration, pulling your hair out, locking yourself in your room or anything else right at this moment, dealing with a mouthy teenager, a toddler's temper tantrum or a sloppy, lazy kid, be patient, it gets better!

Because one day, the grandchildren will arrive.  You get to spoil them, play with them, feed them sugar, soda, be a hero, never say no and bask in their unconditional love.  You get to have all the fun you want with them and it's a blast!  You can pick them up when you want to and have sleepovers.  It's like this great, fun time that you can have anytime you choose!

Then, you experience a little bit of satisfaction when you send them home filled with sugar to those same kids who are driving you crazy today! :) Grandparenting is a beautiful thing.

Happy Birthday, Salem Sophia!  Mimi loves you "high as the sky, deep as the sea, and all the air that's in between."