My Recap of Episode 3

I loved tonight's episode, even better than last week.  I can't help but wonder if those Christians attacking our show have even seen it?  Yes, I'm the first to admit that the promos may have been a little risque' and the first episode scared me to death, but each week, I believe the producers are showing the love that each family feels for one another and for our Lord Jesus Christ, whom we serve.  I'm still trying to figure out how we're trashing our faith or Jesus.  I've quickly grown tired of some of the nasty comments made about us, especially the girls.  They don't deserve them.  So, I've made a promise to myself that I'm not reading them.  You're absolutely entitled to your opinion, however, we're equally entitled not to read them.  Maybe it's good therapy for you to be so cruel, but we've decided to believe who God says we are, not who you think we are.  Ok, on with the re-cap! 

The Coleman Family: So proud of Taylor and the decisions she's making.  She's definitely toning it down a bit and felt conviction for lying to her parents. Conviction is our friend!  She was offered some great advice by her friends and sister too!  Taylor's a wonderful young lady, she has a great family and I know this girl loves God.  I love that Marie keeps the peace in the Coleman Family.  She's an awesome mom and wife!  And Papa Coleman? He's too much!  His double date idea rocks!  You know I loved it!  Maybe I need to send him a copy of my contract too?  I see Ken chilling out a little and that's a good thing.  He's a great dad who adores his family and his one liners should be on a t-shirt!

The Perry Family:  I am so impressed with Mark and Cheryl's gentle spirit.  I need to take lessons from them!  Watching how they interact with Olivia helps me realize I need to work on toning down my delivery a bit (I just heard all my critics scream Hallelujah!).  I feel for Olivia and what she's dealing with.  It's not easy being a young, single mother.  I remember those days well when I was a 21 year old single mom raising a 3 year old toddler and an 8 month old baby all by myself, without any help from their biological father.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I commend single mothers everywhere.  They have the toughest job on the planet.  Both Olivia and Eden are so blessed to have the support of their family around them.  That makes all the difference.  I'm sure that Olivia never grew up thinking she'd be a teen mom, but she's handling her responsibility more maturely than some adults I know.  I definitely don't want to see Olivia hanging around with her old party friends though.  That's not a good idea on any level.  Unless we can walk on water and raise people from the dead, we need to be mindful of the fact that any of us can fall back into sin.  So, Olivia, wish him well, but if he's still partying, walk away!

And of course, The Koloffs:  I enjoyed this episode.   I love to watch how my girls communicate, respect and love one another.  Sure, they have their differences once in a while, but there's one thing you can count on.  If you decide to mess with their parents, their sisters or their family, they'll come out fighting.  My girls love hard just like I do.  I was glad to hear Teryn's clarification to Kolby regarding her views about pre-marital sex.  Kolby needs support, as we all do, from her family.  But, she also needs to know that we are going to love her through anything she does, good or bad.  I think Teryn helped alot with her confusion.   My heart broke for Micah and Kolby tonight, for different reasons.  I applaud Kolby for wanting to be sure that nothing comes between her relationship with the Lord.  It took a lot of courage for her to have that conversation with Micah.  I was equally proud of Micah.  He handled it well, even though it was obvious he was hurting.  Try not to worry too much about them.  They are great kids and it'll work out as it should.  I'm rooting for both of them, no matter what the outcome.

Watching ourselves on television is wild.  This whole experience has been quite surreal.  Mark Perry said something  that I found to be quite accurate recently.  He said,  "If the Christian 'critics' would watch Preachers Daughters, they would see 3 families trying to help their kids walk with God and be pure!"  How can that be bad?  I love that statement because that's exactly why we signed up to do this show.  It wasn't to get rich (trust me, we didn't get paid near enough for what we've had to endure!), famous or more importantly to bash Christianity.  It most definitely wasn't to diminish who Jesus is!  Give me a break!

After the first episode, I've admitted, I was very nervous.  But, each week, as more of our love for Jesus is displayed, I'm becoming more and more proud to be part of this little show on Lifetime.  Our faith is in God.  With all due respect to our producers at ThinkFactory Media and the Lifetime network, our faith is in Him alone.  So, whatever comes, good or bad (and it has), we rest assured that He has our family's back.

It's so sad that there are those of you who don't recognize how you're being used by Satan to spew the vile, cruel and wicked things that come out of your mouth about me, my family, the other families or the show.  If you're so sure we need to be punished, why not trust God to deal with us?   "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord."  I'd like to ask you "Who died and made you God?"  (You know who you are and I even know who some of you are.)  The cruel things people say about others speak much more about that person than the one they're trying to tear down.

To those of you who think this show isn't helping others?  Tell that to the girl who emailed me asking for help because she had an abortion 6 years ago?  Or the single mom who's struggling with raising a teenager?  Or how about the teenagers who've said Kolby is causing them to re-think choices they've made in the past?  Or the many who've said this show makes them want to go to church?  God is moving, people.  His message is the same yesterday, today and forever, but methods are changing.  TV is just one of them.

So, to our enemies, let me say on behalf of my family, God bless you.  We're praying for you.  How about praying for us too?  Wow, what a concept.


Preachers Daughters airs every Tuesday night at 10/9c on Lifetime. 

Teryn's Confession - Why Did She Do It?

This is going to be a small take on why I believe Teryn decided (unbeknownst to us) to make her "big" confession on Epsiode 2. 

I will tell you that she's been flooded with positive affirmations about her courage in sharing her "secret" to her family and the world.  I want to personally say thank you to those of you who've been so supportive of my daughter.  I am incredibly proud of the courage it took for Teryn to share her secret with us.  For those of you who haven't been as supportive and have gone so far to take the time to criticize her for that decision? Well, as her mother, I'd like to let you have it, but as a woman trying my best to bless and not curse my enemies, (taking baby steps by the way), I will just say, God bless you!

Of course, there will ALWAYS be critics (do you have nothing better to do than tear others down?), just as there will ALWAYS be those who bless us (thank you for the encouragement)!

Here are just a couple of the most asked about questions that I've heard since Episode 2 aired.

I'll try my best to answer them.

"Why would she tell you?" - As you may or may not know, the "sex talk" message that I gave in Episode 1 is actually called, "Real Love Waits, I don't Until I Do".  You only heard a minute of a 45 minute message.  I've spoken in front of tens of thousands of teenagers across the country sharing this message. While encouraging kids to live a life of purity, I've frequently used my oldest daughter, Teryn, who told me she'd made the decision to remain a virgin until her wedding night, as an example.  Many times during my seminars, Teryn has been in the audience and I've even introduced her to everyone!  She told me it killed her each time because she knew it wasn't true.  This is why she felt it was time to tell us the truth.  I am so proud of her and think she's one of the bravest women I know.  The guilt and shame she must have felt all these years from not just myself and her dad Nikita, but the church (not biblical, by the way) must have been horrible.  I couldn't be more proud of Teryn and the guts it took for her to do this.  She went to the producers and told them what she was going to do.   We knew nothing about it.  I saw a comment where someone thought it was "set up" because the cameras was on mine and Kolby's faces immediately following her confession.  This is not true.  It was not set up!  The only ones who knew what was coming were the producers and Tawni.  Teryn had confided in her just days earlier and Tawni was a huge source of support for her.  Kolby, Kendra and I had no idea.  Yes, the producers were "camera ready", only because they wanted to capture the moment.  Personally, I'm glad they did.  God's love is unconditional and so is mine for my daughters.

She's 30 and married, why would she think it's any of your business?  - This is absolutely true.  It isn't any of our business.  What each of us choose to do throughout our lifetime, good or bad, is between us and God.  I don't expect after only 2 episodes that you could possibly understand how close our family is.  I feel confident to say that Teryn knew after the initial shock we may have felt when she told us that she would have what she needed the most, our undying love and support, along with NO judgement or condemnation whatsoever.  That's exactly what she got.  She knew she would receive that because she's experienced the unconditional love of her family all of her life.  Please understand that we weren't shocked because we thought less of her,  we were shocked because she'd always declared proudly that she was a virgin on her wedding night and now, all these years later, she was telling us something else.  That's it. 

Jesus doesn't want us to carry our burdens alone.  Unfortunately in the church, this is what so many do because they can't trust the gossips in the church (a word from the Lord for you gossips..SHUT UP!).  It's tragic that some churches shoot their wounded, rather than restore them to the Father.  This should not be.  For fear of being exposed for our struggles, we tend to keep them inside and allow sin, guilt, shame or condemnation to eat at us.  I'm not saying everyone should air their "dirty laundry" to the church or the world.  But, you can air your "dirty laundry" to the Lord.    That's why His word says, "cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you" - 1st Peter 5:7 and in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  If you're struggling with anything in your life, I encourage you to search the Scriptures.  The answer is there for everything.  And I mean everything. 

Too many times throughout my life, I've failed God miserably.  However, I'm so grateful that no matter the sins of my past (or yours for that matter), He's a forgiving God and loves us in spite of our shortcomings.  We may not all abide by His ways like we should, but there's no denying His ways are the best.  Period.
  
Some of the comments that I have found to be the most disheartening about this episode are "how stupid that you guys were all crying" or "what is the big deal, nobody waits anymore!".

We have become a society that expect so much less from our young people or eachother.  And if that's what we continue to do, that's exactly what we're going to get.

Preacher's Daughters airs on Lifetime every Tuesday at 10/9c.  Hope you'll keep watching!

Episode 2 - My Recap

This show was intense and at times painful, but, if I'm being honest, I liked this episode much better than last week.  Although, I'm still not crazy about how "crazy" I seem to be coming off, I'm going to continue to trust the producers promises!  Let me make something clear here.  I trust Kolby explicity and I also trust Micah. They are two amazing, God loving teenagers.  Micah's parents have done an outstanding job raising Micah and his brothers.  They are all first class guys.  I hope you realize that you're only seeing "slices" of who we really are and even some of those slices aren't completely accurate.   Keep that in mind and remember, people, it's television!  Ok, on with the recap.

The Coleman Family:  Taylor sneaking out and going to a hotel with kids and lying to her parents?  Oh my.  The dancing bothered me almost as much as the lying!  With that said, I'm very encouraged that Taylor seems remorseful when she realizes the hurt she's caused her parents, especially when she feels bad for disappointing her mother.  But, most of us, Christians or not, have lied to our parents at one time or another when we were kids, teens or even adults!  I know I did.  Come on, don't try to be so self rigteous, you did too!  The time to worry is when we don't care about hurting others by our actions.  Yes, Ken was angry.  I'd say he was justifiably upset and I don't understand how anyone could criticize him for that.  Can you imagine what I would have done?  OK, let's not go there.  I'm rooting for Taylor and I'm confident she's going to understand sooner rather than later that both the Lord and her parents want what's best for her.  I'm praying for Ken and Marie because I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch those scenes.  I have come to care for the Coleman's very much and I know God's got their back.

The Perry Family:  Teenage pregnancy is something most of us have probably dealt with at one time or another.  I see it everyday at the pregnancy centers.  It always break my heart to witness the pain of a young girl/guy and their families when a pregnancy test is positive.  The shock and fear on their faces is heartbreaking.  Tonight, Olivia gets her paternity results.  Olivia's bravery continues to inspire me.  The Perry's love for Christ and eachother shines through during tonight's episode and the grace that Mark and Cheryl show to their children is beyond beautiful.  We could all learn a thing or two about that.  Christians drive me nuts when they judge or show anger towards a teenager who's pregnant or had a child.  What do you want, Christians?!  Granted, pre-marital sex and becoming a teen mom may not have been God's plan for Olivia, but instead of judging her sexual sin, shouldn't we rejoice when teenagers like Olivia choose life?  In this country, she had the right to choose abortion.  I'll be the first to say that kids shouldn't be having kids.  But, I commend those teenagers and their families who ban together when faced with a crisis pregancy and allow God to take something the enemy hopes will destroy a family and turn it into something good?  Look, if one of my girls' ended up pregnant out of wedlock, I would never turn my back on them.  It would grieve me, no doubt, but I would love them through it and love my grandchild too.

Oh, The Koloffs:  Last night's episode was a bit painful for us. Kolby and I cried as we watched feeling a lot of the emotions of that day.  Please don't misunderstand, there may have been pain, shock and disappointment for a moment, but it was incredibly healing also.  I'm hopeful you'll see more of what happened after Teryn's confession in future episodes.  Noone in our family feels or looks at Teryn any differently than before that dinner.  I would go so far and say that we're all incredibly proud of her courage too.

As you know, Teryn's my oldest.  She's been married to Chad for 6 years and they have a beautiful 3 year old, who is wrapped around my finger!  They have a wonderful family.

When we were getting ready for Teryn's party and she explained her feelings about sex growing up, ("I thought if I kissed a guy, I could get pregnant!"), it broke my heart!  I've never wanted Teryn or any of my girls to have a warped sense of sex.  That's never been my intention.  As a mother, it's hard when you must take full responsibility for mistakes you've made and I've made plenty.  One of them being that I instilled this fear of sex or as they like to call it "the one eyed willy!".  God created sex and He doesn't create anything "gross, nasty or bad". (I've already repented, in case you're wondering.)  I want to set the record straight.  In no way do I think sex is bad, but sex is not something to take lightly.  It's a powerful act and kids shouldn't be doing it!  Let's take that a step further, although this statement will definitely not be received well by many, especially adults.  Biblically speaking, noone that isn't married, no matter how old we are, should be having sex!  In this day and time, noone wants to go there, but it's true.  You can't argue Scripture, people!  Well, you can, but as a Christian, I'd say you're wrong:).

I admit that I've chilled a lot more since Teryn and Tawni were teenagers.  Remember, she's 30 years old!  I've probably lightened up alot when it comes to dating and other things since they were younger, but one thing I am sure of.  Teryn and Tawni were allowed to date at 16, as long as it was in groups.  They did go to proms, but I can't remember a guy they liked enough to want to date.  Not that I know of anyway.  Unless it was behind my back?!  Hmmmm.

I was so proud of Chad and how he supported Teryn telling us her "secret".  I'm glad she made the decision to tell us too.  She shouldn't have to carry anything that is bothering her that much.  And, she didn't have to tell us, it really wasn't any of our business (or yours for that matter!), but I believe she was incredibly brave in doing so.  I'm sure there were lots of you watching who could relate. 

During the "reveal" dinner, I admit it, I was shocked when I heard Teryn's confession.  Just a few months prior, I'd had a conversation with Teryn and Chad about this very subject.  Let me explain.   Teryn, Chad and I were sitting around talking about life after dinner one night.  I remember joking around with them saying, "you guys don't have to pretend you were virgins when you got married anymore if you weren't.  I'm really ok with it".  Chad looked at me and said, "Mom, I swear to you, on my daughter's life, we did not have sex till we were married."  So, when Teryn made her confession, I immediately thought back to that conversation. I felt lied to.  In all honestly, at that moment, all I could think about was Chad's declaration on my granddaughter's life more than what Teryn had just said!  But, Chad hadn't lied.  He and Teryn hadn't had sex before they were married. It wasn't with Chad.  She had had sex with someone else.  Teryn had been so adamant about being a virgin on her wedding night for so long that her confession caught all of us by surprise. I was never angry with Teryn.  Never.  Nor did I feel any differently towards her.  I knew how hard it was for her to tell us and as her mother, well, you can imagine.

Kolby and Kendra were shocked and hurt by Teryn's confession.  It broke my heart to see them cry.  The girls' have always looked up to their big sisters.  My girls have been taught good morals and values (doesn't mean we've all lived up to them all the time), but we've taught this nevertheless.  I would hope that those of you watching would see that the reason Kolby was so emotional was because she knows what God says about sex and it's very important to her.  That's a good thing, in my opinion, not a bad thing!  Instead of saying something like, "so what?", Kolby and Kendra reacted in pain because that's not what they wanted for their sister.  I thought it was beautiful and next week Teryn and Kolby have a conversation to clarify some questions that Kolby has.

Once I realized Teryn wasn't kidding, I knew exactly who the guy was.  He was someone she'd dated 8 years ago.  I didn't like him very much because I hated how he treated her.  I can remember vividly how slowly Teryn changed from the confident, young woman she'd always been into an insecure, angry and sometimes depressed person I didn't recognize.  Because of this drastic change in her, there were several times I asked, "are you having sex with him?"  She would always get angry and say no.   I've seen how sex changes teenagers and how they view themselves afterwards.  It's not pretty.  I deal with it in my work everyday.  Because of this, I had my doubts that Teryn was telling me the truth, but I made the decision to believe her.   Deep down, I knew she must be having sex with him.  What other reason could she be allowing this guy to treat her so badly?  I believe because of the guilt she felt, she allowed him to abuse her and stayed with him longer than she ever should have.  For this, I'm so angry with myself as a mother.  Maybe had I not been so overboard about the whole sex thing, she would have felt safe to have been more honest with me and what she was going through.  It breaks my heart right now just thinking about it. 

There is nothing my girls' could ever do that would change how I look at them.  Absolutely nothing.  My love for them has always been unconditional.  I may not like them sometimes, but I never stop loving them.  I truly hope that as more episodes unfold, our family, as well as the Perry's and Coleman's, will bring something positive to your life, help you to reflect on your own and teach values you can live with.  All of our families may parent differently, but that doesn't make one or the other wrong.  I don't expect all of you to understand me, but I hope, in time, you will see my heart.

My prayer is that the show will continue going in the direction as it began tonight.  And instead of my family's focus being around sex (which we don't talk about ALL the time, by the way, even though it may seem that way right now!), it will focus on our love for eachother, the grace and compassion we share and our undying love for Jesus Christ.  That's why the girls' and I signed up for this.  It wasn't for money (I find that offensive) or fame (this is NOT fun), but to share our faith, struggles and how, without the Lord, we would be lost.

I have excellent communication with Kolby and her sisters.  For this, I'm incredibly grateful.  You haven't seen that much to date, but I  believe you will as the weeks pass.  We talk about everything together (duh!), not just sex.  We discuss people they're interested in, life, my past mistakes, theirs, everything.  I love that my girls know that I only have their best interest at heart.  Sure, we have our moments, but at the end of the day, we're family.

Hope you keep watching along with us and that we all learn something together.

Episode 1 - My Recap

Well, Episode 1 is over! And, man, has this show been sparking conversation and controversy!  I did not see this coming.  Neither myself or my entire family has seen one finished episode.  Each week, along with all of you, we'll be watching!  During Premiere Night, the girls' and I were practically having anxiety attacks counting down the beginning of the show!  And I must admit, this first episode caught me a little by surprise and taught me a little about myself. 

The Coleman Family:  I first met the Coleman Family last month when we flew to Los Angeles to shoot promos.  We immediately fell in love with them.  Ken is hilarious, Marie is so sweet and gentle and Taylor is a delightful, young lady.  She, Kolby and Olivia hit it off right away.  When I saw episode 1, admittedly, I was a little shocked.  Over the past month I've spent a little time with Taylor during promotional stuff.  In all the time I've been around her, she has been very respectful and sweet to her parent's and those around her.  She impressed me as a young woman who truly loves God, her family and herself.  She may seem a little off track during this first episode, but I'm hopeful that in time, you will know her as the sweet, respectable young woman that I've come to know.  She'll find her way.  Try not to judge so harshly.

The Perry Family:  Like the Coleman's, we first met the Perry's in LA.  Mark is funny, goofy and very personable and Cheryl is a devoted wife and mother.  Olivia is a kind, gentle, sweet and very attentive mother herself.  I was so impressed with how she took care of her beautiful daughter, Eden.  I've seen teen mother's who expect their parents to take care of their babies.  I never saw this with Olivia.  I commend her for that.  The Perry's are a very loving and gentle family, as was evident in this first episode.  As a Director of two Pregnancy Centers, where young girls' come to us struggling with their decision of what to do in a crisis pregnancy situation, I was so grateful Olivia chose life.  She will bring much needed attention to the challenges of a teen pregnancy.  I'm looking forward to getting to know both of these families better as I watch each week with all of you.  I also love how the Perry's showed their daughter grace and mercy, as our Lord does.  Some of you could learn a few things about that.  Just sayin'.

Then there's us, The Koloff Family:  During this first episode, you meet Kendra, Kolby, Nikita and I.  My two oldest daughters, Teryn and Tawni will make their appearance in Episode 2 (you're going to love them too!).  Kolby is my precious youngest and she's the "baby" in our family!  So many of you have already fallen in love with her, as we knew you would!  She's a wonderful, God loving, young lady!  She is a daughter that any mother would be proud to have.  I know I am.  I'm proud of all my girls.  Aside from accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior, they are 4 of the best decisions I've ever made in my life!  They are truly amazing, human beings.

I've been teaching abstinence education to teenagers all over the world for many years.  I've spoken in front of literally tens of thousands of teenagers and have that many letters from teens who made decisions to change their behavior after realizing they are worth waiting for.  I admit it.  My message is graphic, strong and "in your face", but when you work at a pregnancy center as I have for over 15 years, witnessed the devastation a young girl/woman and her family feel when they find themselves in a crisis pregnancy situation, you'd be pretty passionate too!  The youngest girl I've given a pregnancy test was 10, for gosh sakes!  So, am I fired up about this?  You're darn right, I am!  This is partly where my passion stems from, as well as, my own bad decisions in the past.  Sure, there've always been those few parents that complain my talk is too graphic, but the majority understand it needs to be this way.  They know that kids these days don't need the sex message sugar coated.  It may make you uncomfortable, but this is what kids are talking about today!  With all due respect, some of you need to get your heads out of the sand!  You saw maybe a minute of a 45 minute message.  I was disappointed you didn't get to hear more about the what sex outside of marriage does to a teenager's sense of self-worth or hear why God's word says to wait till marriage for sex, but hopefully more of that will come in future episodes.  He doesn't ask anything of us that isn't what's best for us.  One of my points is that sex is a powerful act that binds two souls together and attaches people to one another spiritually.  Teenagers need to understand that sex is a BIG deal because it is.  It's not something to be taken lightly or be casual about!  And the reason I feel the need to explain that when I'm talking about sex, I don't just mean "penetration" sex, is because teens today believe that everything other than penetration isn't sex!  They or their friends have convinced them that anything other than penetration can't hurt them.   And this isn't true.  Sexual activity consists of a lot more than just one act and it can and does have lasting effects.  When you've met dozens of young women, like I have, who say "Victoria, we only had oral (or anal, finger, etc.) sex, now we're broke up, so why do I feel horrible about myself, I mean we didn't go all the way"?  Well, maybe, just maybe, you'll get it.

In my world, I hear from teens who tell me they truly believe anal sex is "safe" because that's what their peers are telling them.  This is NOT true!  Teenagers are believing a lie.  They think if they practice anal sex, they can't catch an STD (incorrect), that they can't get pregnant (in rare cases, you can), it won't affect their psyche (again, wrong)  and they convince themselves they are still virgins by having anal as opposed to vaginal sex.  And these same teens who thought it wouldn't affect them spiritually, emotionally or physically come to me asking "I thought I wasn't supposed to feel bad because I didn't "go all the way"!  (Just for the record, I can't tell you a time I ever used the phrase "backdoor" sex in my seminars, but for television I didn't have a choice).  Our kids have been bombarded with lies about safe sex.  They need to hear the truth!  The ONLY 100% safe sex is abstinence!  This generation of young people aren't living in a society like we did.  They need to be educated by people who are boldly willing to tell them the truth.  I'm not trying to be popular, people, I'm trying to be effective.  I promise I don't walk around my house repeating these phrases over and over again either, as it may have seemed like in the first episode, nor do I ever purposefully humiliate Kolby or any of my girls!  It's television, people!

Now, let's talk about the "Contract"!  The night before my meeting with Micah was going to be shot, I wanted to have more than just my regular "date my daughter" talk, as I'd had with young men in the past who've dated my older daughters.  I wanted something that would be fun!  I searched the internet and found some great examples of "dating my daughter" applications.  I chose a couple and customized it.  Micah, Kolby and even the producers and crew knew nothing about my decision to pull out that application!  I've already received many emails from father's wanting a copy of this "dating contract"!  It was all in good fun and Micah took it like a man.  I was so proud of him! 

I don't take dating one of my daughters lightly (duh!).  I wanted to drive the point home to both Micah and Kolby that at their age, dating is a privilege, not a right.  Kolby is one of the most important people in my life.  As a single mother, she spends 98% of her time with me, so I'm forced to have the "tough" talks that her father should be having.  I've received overwhelmingly more positive remarks than negative about how I handled myself Episode 1.  Sure, I've taken some hits from my critics, but that's ok.  I'm thankful for those too, as they help me to reflect a little bit.  Any day of the week, I'm willing to take flack for Jesus or how I handle myself with my daughters.  I would do anything for either.  They are the world to me.

I'm confident as you get to know me a little more and learn about what and why I'm passionate about what I believe in, you'll get it.  Then again, maybe you won't and that's fine too.  Though, I will admit, I had no idea how intense I can be until seeing myself on television.

Whew.  I even wore myself out!

Tune in every Tuesday on Lifetime at 10/9c for another episode "Preachers Daughters"!

Why Do A Reality Show?

This is a question I've been asked over and over again by reporters since the show was announced.  Although, no matter what my answer is, some people still won't understand.  And I get that.

This was not a decision we made lightly.  Nor, was it a decision I made alone.  All four of my daughters had to agree to do this together.  It was all of us or none of us.  When we were told that we were 1 of 3 families the network wanted, it was not until after much prayer and conversation that we decided to go for it.  I don't think we could have ever been prepared for how this decision would impact our lives nor change them.  Don't get me wrong, we knew criticism would come, but I won't pretend that the criticism from our "own", the Christian community, has been the most hurtful, brutal and unfair.  And we, as Christians, wonder why those who aren't believers are suspicious of our faith.  When Christians' are "throwing other Christians" under the bus, rather than showing love, grace and mercy, why would we wonder why our faith is despised?  So, why did we do it?  We had many reasons for making this decision.

First of all, and the most important reason was that we wanted to share our faith with others. Our faith in Jesus Christ is paramount in all of our lives. We are blessed that He loves imperfect people!  Our desire from day one has always been to show the churched and un-churched that Christian's are not perfect, but we do serve a perfect, loving, merciful and gracious God. 

There's so much "fake" and "masking" in the church today.  People pretending they've got it all together on Sunday mornings, only to be falling apart throughout the week.  If we aren't real with where we are with God, how can we ever expect things to change?  In my opinion, that kind of denial can be deadly.  I've always said, "people don't go to church because they've already been."

For years, Nikita, myself and even our girls felt it necessary to pretend to be the "perfect" family for the sake of the church.  Yet at home following the Sunday sermons, our family unit was crumbling. This is why when we went through our divorce, the church was stunned.  I can't tell you how many times I heard, "we thought you guys were the perfect family!"   Some Christians live in constant fear of being exposed for the normal struggles they face every day.  They're worried if the church found out who they really were, they would be rejected for not being the "perfect" Christian they tried so hard to be!  This should not be!  There are NO perfect Christians!  Zero.  And if you think you are one, I'd like to pray that lying demon out of you right now!  In the name of Jesus!

Secondly, our family is passionate about causes we believe in and we knew this show was a huge opportunity to educate viewers about them.  You will learn more about this in the weeks to come.

Thirdly, Nikita and I haven't been together for 8 years.   We've barely spoken in that time.  It hasn't been easy, but in the past year, we've made greater effort than we ever have to establish a new friendship with one another for the sake of our children. We got divorced, our children did not.  Our hope is that other families will relate to what we've gone through and through us can learn  (as we have the hard way!) that we rob our children of so much joy by becoming or staying enemies.  This isn't fair to them!  It is my hope that you will see this play out throughout the show as well.

Unfortunately, we have NO control over editing and how our family is represented.  This may have been naive, but filming is over now and there's not much I can do about it.  I haven't seen one finished episode.  Along with America, each week, with bated breath, I will watch and witness what and how our lives are presented.   I will not lie.  It will be highly disappointing to me if it doesn't turn out as promised.

I know who I am in Christ and I know who my wonderful daughters are in Him also.  We all share an undying love for Jesus.  We know what was filmed during the 6 weeks of filming and are each trusting that the love of our Father, our family and our faith will be displayed throughout "Preachers Daughters".  For now, I would ask that you pray for me and my family, not curse us.

So, why do a reality show?  Well, let me end with this.  The message of the Gospel has never changed in over 2000 years.  And it will never change.  Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forevermore.  But, I'm convinced that methods can and do change.  God CAN and does use media outlets like television to reach those hurting, lost or searching.  Have you seen Duck Dynasty or The Bible Series?!

As far as the judgement you may spew towards me or my family, how about we leave that between my family and the Lord?   I'm confident He will guide, lead and show us what direction He would want us to take as episodes unfold.

I've trusted Him for most of my life.  I'm not going to stop now.

My God Rocks!

I could never write a blog or speak words to give justice to how much I love my Lord Jesus Christ and my family. Aside from my relationship with the Lord, the relationships with my family are the most importrant of my life.  I'm single, so I don't have a "significant other", but until I do (if that time ever comes for me again), I am beyond satisifed with the relationships I have with God and my family.  Not only do I have 4 daughters and a granddaughter who bring me joy everyday, my extended family (Mom, my sister Brenda, brother Robbie & their families), and friends are a blessing to me and I'm one lucky girl!

For the first time in my life, I am 100% content with my life.  I could not be more grateful for all the Lord has done for me.   He's truly given me the "peace that passes all understanding."

Thank you God for not leaving me where I was and taking me where I've never been.  "You are my rock, my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91