Episode 1 - My Recap

Well, Episode 1 is over! And, man, has this show been sparking conversation and controversy!  I did not see this coming.  Neither myself or my entire family has seen one finished episode.  Each week, along with all of you, we'll be watching!  During Premiere Night, the girls' and I were practically having anxiety attacks counting down the beginning of the show!  And I must admit, this first episode caught me a little by surprise and taught me a little about myself. 

The Coleman Family:  I first met the Coleman Family last month when we flew to Los Angeles to shoot promos.  We immediately fell in love with them.  Ken is hilarious, Marie is so sweet and gentle and Taylor is a delightful, young lady.  She, Kolby and Olivia hit it off right away.  When I saw episode 1, admittedly, I was a little shocked.  Over the past month I've spent a little time with Taylor during promotional stuff.  In all the time I've been around her, she has been very respectful and sweet to her parent's and those around her.  She impressed me as a young woman who truly loves God, her family and herself.  She may seem a little off track during this first episode, but I'm hopeful that in time, you will know her as the sweet, respectable young woman that I've come to know.  She'll find her way.  Try not to judge so harshly.

The Perry Family:  Like the Coleman's, we first met the Perry's in LA.  Mark is funny, goofy and very personable and Cheryl is a devoted wife and mother.  Olivia is a kind, gentle, sweet and very attentive mother herself.  I was so impressed with how she took care of her beautiful daughter, Eden.  I've seen teen mother's who expect their parents to take care of their babies.  I never saw this with Olivia.  I commend her for that.  The Perry's are a very loving and gentle family, as was evident in this first episode.  As a Director of two Pregnancy Centers, where young girls' come to us struggling with their decision of what to do in a crisis pregnancy situation, I was so grateful Olivia chose life.  She will bring much needed attention to the challenges of a teen pregnancy.  I'm looking forward to getting to know both of these families better as I watch each week with all of you.  I also love how the Perry's showed their daughter grace and mercy, as our Lord does.  Some of you could learn a few things about that.  Just sayin'.

Then there's us, The Koloff Family:  During this first episode, you meet Kendra, Kolby, Nikita and I.  My two oldest daughters, Teryn and Tawni will make their appearance in Episode 2 (you're going to love them too!).  Kolby is my precious youngest and she's the "baby" in our family!  So many of you have already fallen in love with her, as we knew you would!  She's a wonderful, God loving, young lady!  She is a daughter that any mother would be proud to have.  I know I am.  I'm proud of all my girls.  Aside from accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior, they are 4 of the best decisions I've ever made in my life!  They are truly amazing, human beings.

I've been teaching abstinence education to teenagers all over the world for many years.  I've spoken in front of literally tens of thousands of teenagers and have that many letters from teens who made decisions to change their behavior after realizing they are worth waiting for.  I admit it.  My message is graphic, strong and "in your face", but when you work at a pregnancy center as I have for over 15 years, witnessed the devastation a young girl/woman and her family feel when they find themselves in a crisis pregnancy situation, you'd be pretty passionate too!  The youngest girl I've given a pregnancy test was 10, for gosh sakes!  So, am I fired up about this?  You're darn right, I am!  This is partly where my passion stems from, as well as, my own bad decisions in the past.  Sure, there've always been those few parents that complain my talk is too graphic, but the majority understand it needs to be this way.  They know that kids these days don't need the sex message sugar coated.  It may make you uncomfortable, but this is what kids are talking about today!  With all due respect, some of you need to get your heads out of the sand!  You saw maybe a minute of a 45 minute message.  I was disappointed you didn't get to hear more about the what sex outside of marriage does to a teenager's sense of self-worth or hear why God's word says to wait till marriage for sex, but hopefully more of that will come in future episodes.  He doesn't ask anything of us that isn't what's best for us.  One of my points is that sex is a powerful act that binds two souls together and attaches people to one another spiritually.  Teenagers need to understand that sex is a BIG deal because it is.  It's not something to be taken lightly or be casual about!  And the reason I feel the need to explain that when I'm talking about sex, I don't just mean "penetration" sex, is because teens today believe that everything other than penetration isn't sex!  They or their friends have convinced them that anything other than penetration can't hurt them.   And this isn't true.  Sexual activity consists of a lot more than just one act and it can and does have lasting effects.  When you've met dozens of young women, like I have, who say "Victoria, we only had oral (or anal, finger, etc.) sex, now we're broke up, so why do I feel horrible about myself, I mean we didn't go all the way"?  Well, maybe, just maybe, you'll get it.

In my world, I hear from teens who tell me they truly believe anal sex is "safe" because that's what their peers are telling them.  This is NOT true!  Teenagers are believing a lie.  They think if they practice anal sex, they can't catch an STD (incorrect), that they can't get pregnant (in rare cases, you can), it won't affect their psyche (again, wrong)  and they convince themselves they are still virgins by having anal as opposed to vaginal sex.  And these same teens who thought it wouldn't affect them spiritually, emotionally or physically come to me asking "I thought I wasn't supposed to feel bad because I didn't "go all the way"!  (Just for the record, I can't tell you a time I ever used the phrase "backdoor" sex in my seminars, but for television I didn't have a choice).  Our kids have been bombarded with lies about safe sex.  They need to hear the truth!  The ONLY 100% safe sex is abstinence!  This generation of young people aren't living in a society like we did.  They need to be educated by people who are boldly willing to tell them the truth.  I'm not trying to be popular, people, I'm trying to be effective.  I promise I don't walk around my house repeating these phrases over and over again either, as it may have seemed like in the first episode, nor do I ever purposefully humiliate Kolby or any of my girls!  It's television, people!

Now, let's talk about the "Contract"!  The night before my meeting with Micah was going to be shot, I wanted to have more than just my regular "date my daughter" talk, as I'd had with young men in the past who've dated my older daughters.  I wanted something that would be fun!  I searched the internet and found some great examples of "dating my daughter" applications.  I chose a couple and customized it.  Micah, Kolby and even the producers and crew knew nothing about my decision to pull out that application!  I've already received many emails from father's wanting a copy of this "dating contract"!  It was all in good fun and Micah took it like a man.  I was so proud of him! 

I don't take dating one of my daughters lightly (duh!).  I wanted to drive the point home to both Micah and Kolby that at their age, dating is a privilege, not a right.  Kolby is one of the most important people in my life.  As a single mother, she spends 98% of her time with me, so I'm forced to have the "tough" talks that her father should be having.  I've received overwhelmingly more positive remarks than negative about how I handled myself Episode 1.  Sure, I've taken some hits from my critics, but that's ok.  I'm thankful for those too, as they help me to reflect a little bit.  Any day of the week, I'm willing to take flack for Jesus or how I handle myself with my daughters.  I would do anything for either.  They are the world to me.

I'm confident as you get to know me a little more and learn about what and why I'm passionate about what I believe in, you'll get it.  Then again, maybe you won't and that's fine too.  Though, I will admit, I had no idea how intense I can be until seeing myself on television.

Whew.  I even wore myself out!

Tune in every Tuesday on Lifetime at 10/9c for another episode "Preachers Daughters"!