A Priest, a Music Minister, Church Ladies and a Funeral

If you read my last blog, you know that I attended a funeral this past weekend. You also know that I was asked by my brother and his wife to sing "Amazing Grace".

The funeral was held at an Episcopalian Church. Adrienne's father was Episcopalian, but from what I understand, left many years ago. I am not going to pretend to know a lot about the Episcopalian faith, but what I do know about is people. And I've never been one to care what a marquee on the outside of a church says. I've always been interested in the people on the inside and how they treat others. Because Adrienne's father had left the church, it took a "special" phone call from one of his closest friends to the Bishop to ask for permission to have his memorial there.

When we arrived at the church, the Priest met us in the reception area. This was the same area where they would hold a gathering after the service to receive family and friends. I was taken aback at how cold this Priest was to the family. They had just suffered a great loss, yet he showed no compassion towards them. I never once heard him extend his condolences to Adrienne's mother or the rest of the family. He was more concerned about how many people were coming, who would sit where, how long I was singing and making it clear to Adrienne that her father's picture would not be allowed in the lobby of the church for guests to view. I was stunned.

When he realized I was the one singing, he instructed me to go into the church to meet with the music minister, who would give me my instructions. I did as I was told. Upon entering the church, I introduced myself. I told him that Adrienne's mother had asked me to sing all 6 verses of the song and that I would be singing acapello. He told me, "No, you will sing the first verse alone and then we will invite the congregation to sing along."

He then motioned for me to follow him towards the organ. He began to play. I stopped him. "I'm sorry to interupt you, but I can't sing the song in that key. That's way too high for me. Can you please play it in a lower key?" He looked at me and said, "This is the key the song is written in and I'm sure if you stand up straight, keep your head up and project, you will do just fine." Oh yeah? I took a deep breath and said, "With all due respect, sir, God gifted me with an alto voice, not a soprano voice. How about if I sing it in my key and you pick it up or I will just sing without accompaniment." I didn't wait for his answer, I just began to sing. It didn't take him long to play in my key. He then told me I was to sit next to him throughout the service so I wouldn't be a "distraction" when it came time for me to sing. OK, I can do that.

Meanwhile, in the reception room, Adrienne's brother asked the ladies, who were setting up the refreshments, if he could put flowers on each table. They said, "We'd rather you didn't". The tables were covered with plastic tablecloths! Plastic! How were flowers going to hurt plastic?!

Then, Adrienne was told the church would only supply a certain amount of cookies and punch. They told her if more than 20-30 people showed up, they would have to "share each other's cookies!" This is an actual quote. Adrienne scrambled together and had a friend bring extra food for everyone. Good thing, cause over 100 people attended! In spite of the demeanor of these people, I believe Adrienne and her family had the closure they needed. Her brother blessed me after the service by telling me that the most "spiritual" part of the service was when I sang the first verse of the song. I'm thankful that God chose to use me.

I must say that as a Christian, I was embarassed at how these people treated this family. Where was the love? Where was the compassion? I mean, they had just lost their husband, father, grandfather and friend! I've said it before and I'll say it again. People don't go to church anymore cause they've already been. I'm not knocking Episcopalians. These kinds of people are in every church building, no matter the denomination. What I am knocking are so called Christians. What have we come to when you can't even feel love and compassion from a Priest when attending your own loved one's funeral? Jeez.

No wonder Adrienne's dad left.