This morning I met a friend for breakfast. We had such an interesting, engaging conversation throughout our two hour visit. One of my greatest pleasures in life is good, honest, open communication and conversation.
As we were talking, we came to an observation. Too many people aren't real. They're pretending to have the perfect life, marriage, relationships, career or constantly trying so hard to convince others they are themselves perfect people. Some use social media as their platform or outlet to create a false sense or picture of who they really are or what they may be struggling through. In no way am I advocating airing all your dirty laundry, but how can we expect to truly connect or ask others to relate to us if we're spending more time "pretending" than being authentic?
This afternoon, as I was receiving an incredibly, relaxing, deep tissue massage, this got me thinking. I began to reflect on my own life and how others view it and I was reminded of something. I thought writing a new blog would be an opportunity to set the record straight.
I've received many messages from well meaning people telling me it seems I live a charmed, perfect life. Oh, how I beg to differ. Just because these messages may be flattering and stroke my ego a little bit doesn't make them true. Please don't hear what I'm not saying. Yes, I'm blessed, even on a bad day. I'm breathing, I have my health, a career I love, a great family and good friends. I'm a pretty upbeat, positive person, who believes in the cup half full. Even when things are not going my way, I do my best to see the good, although, I don't always succeed.
In no way am I complaining about my life or looking for sympathy, but my life is not how some may perceive and there's always room for improvement.
I struggle just like the rest of you. My issues may not be the same as yours, but they're still issues, nonetheless.
Here are just a few, (I said a few!), examples.
I have four adult daughters. I still inquire into their lives probably more than I should, offer my opinion when I shouldn't and piss them off from time to time. It's not unusual for one of them or even more at the same time, to be upset with me. And, it's also common, when they're angry with me, I won't hear from them for days, a week or even longer. Sure, we have very close relationships, filled with mutual respect and admiration and we love one another very much, but we still have our bad days.
I'm 52 years old and divorced. It's been four years since my last serious relationship and it can get lonely. Sure, I've gone on dates and met interesting men, some are still my friends. A couple times, my interest was highly piqued, but timing was off, schedules complicated or things just didn't work out. I've wonderered if I'll ever meet a man I'd be willing to give up my singleness for. So far, nope. I'm not complaining about being single either. I'd rather be single than miserable and I'm not miserable. But, being single at my age does cause you to think about things like growing old alone or having to rely on my children to take care of me. Neither of these scenarios are appealing to me. But, I refuse to settle for a mediocre relationship, nor do I expect to find a perfect one either.
My career is stressful. I'm in the non-profit field, constantly fundraising and pitching, in hopes others will catch the vision of how our organization is making a difference helping others, which hopefully inspires them to give. I'm full aware the "buck stops here", so to speak, with me. If I don't do my job, an entire organization suffers, including my staff, volunteers and most importantly, our clients. At times, this has kept me up at night.
Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. I wouldn't give up the wisdom, confidence and security I have at my age for any amount of money, but things change as we age. There's no escaping this fact. Sometimes, I forget what I was wearing yesterday! No, I wouldn't trade the wisdom which comes with age, but the rest of it? You can keep it. Getting older just sucks.
So, the next time you think I or anyone else you're stalking on social media has the perfect life, kids, or career, think again.
My Dad always said, "Baby Girl, there's always going to be someone whose got more money than you do, is better looking than you are and has an easier life than you've got, but, never forget, there's always someone who has it a little bit worse too."
All in all, I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But, perfect? Not even close.
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