MYYYYYYYY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!

Twenty five years ago, my life changed forever. I was working in a mall pre-selling gym memberships and right across from my store was a tanning salon. One morning, this huge wrestler and his tiny wife walked in. She was strikingly beautiful with her long, thick black hair and porcelain skin. You know how us women are! We check out beautiful women, probably more than men do! Ok, maybe not:).

When they emerged from the salon, Terry, her husband, started talking to the guys I worked with. That left Trudy and I standing there. It wasn't for long. We started talking and weren't finished by the time Terry was ready to leave. We found out that we lived basically next door to eachother and exchanged phone numbers on the spot. We've been the very best of friends ever since. With all sincerity, Trudy showed me Christ. She knew EVERYTHING about me, the good, the bad and the ugly. She loved me anyway. We teased a lot that we were the real Gayle and Oprah (without all the lesbian rumors!). Without fail, when I called her or she called me, we answered with "MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!

A chance meeting in the middle of a mall! God is so good.

This blog would be more like a book if I wrote about all the times we've shared together during our beautiful friendship. One day I might do it anyway.

Trudy has two sons. Don is 31 and Cody is 22. She adored and loved her sons like any good mother does. She doted, encouraged, laughed and played with her boys all day long. She not only was an amazing wife to Terry, she was an exceptional mother to her boys. Trudy's boys are both special needs. They will always need to live at home. She never complained about her life. She never showed the frustration that she would be raising these boys all of her life. Her sadness was that her boys would never enjoy a 'normal' life. Or the fact that she would never get to experience being a grandmother. I know that's why she LOVED, truly LOVED being around my 4 girls and my granddaughter. She thanked me many times for allowing her to be a part of their lives. It was a blessing more for us, than Trudy, but that's not how she looked at it.

Trudy didn't want to die. She told me this numerous times over and over again. I would make my usual jokes and even tell her to "shut up, you're going to outlive us all girl!" And then we'd laugh, like so many other times.

Please understand that it wasn't the dying that scared her. She loved Jesus with all her heart and longed to be out of pain. But, it was leaving her boys behind that terrified her. We spent a glorious four days together just last month decorating my new place and she talked about her greatest fear was that noone could love or care for the boys like she did. With tears in her eyes, she said, "I have to outlive Cody, Vic". I reassured her that God was going to take care of everything and she had to trust Him.

I know people are saying "she's in a better place", "she's not in pain anymore", "God needed another angel", etc. I understand and I know they mean well. I KNOW Heaven is a better place, but she did not want to die. She wanted to be here with all of us until she didn't feel her boys needed her anymore.

Finally, we were living close again after 23 years. We were so excited about our "girl sleepovers", our next Chateau Elan trip and all the crazy other things we planned.

This wasn't supposed to happen. But it did. I find myself calling her voicemail just to hear 2 seconds of that voice. That beautiful voice that calmed me so many times in my life. That voice that admonished me when appropriate, or rejoiced with me when we talked about how blessed we were to be mothers and friends.

15 years ago, Trudy and I had made a pact. We decided, (provided that statistics don't lie and women do live longer than men), that whether it be our 80's or 90's, we were going to rent a beautiful condo on the beach to live out the rest of our lives together. We said we'd be the Golden Girls. We laughed about this a lot.

Trudy Taylor was so proud of me. She loved to tell me so. She was proud to call me her friend, and proud of the work I've dedicated my life to. She so loved to travel with me and hear me speak and without fail, would cry each and everytime I spoke or sang somewhere. She was my greatest cheerleader, supporter and never stopped loving me even when I did the most studidest thing. She was a walking Jesus to so many. She loved unconditionally and lit up every room she walked into. She truly loved her husband, her boys, her Mom and family, my girls and me. I know that she did. I know that they know that she did. It's funny because Trudy loved to go on and on about "I wish I could be more like you, Vic, talk in front of people, save babies, she would go on and on and tell me how much she admired me" I would look at her dumbfounded and say, "are you seriously kidding me? Ok, yes, I'm blessed to do what I do, but it's YOU who are my hero. It's me who admires you! You've always been the rock for everyone, you're the sensible one, the best of us all". She'd say, "Really? Do you really think I've made a difference in anybody's life?" I would say, "well, I can't speak for anybody else, but look at how you've made one in mine!" Trudy really didn't know how wonderful she was. She was one of the kindest women I've ever known. Terry told me last night that he's received over 100 emails and phone calls of support. If you met her once, you didn't forget her.

This will be a tough road for many. God will help us through. He has to.

Trudy Kay Davidson Taylor, you are and will forever be my Golden Girl. And you were always the better of the two of us. I love you, MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LOOOOOOOOOVE!

"Am I Dreaming?"

The day is here. It's finally here and I find myself speechless. It's surreal. I have prayed continually for 3 years for this day to come and wondered if it ever would. So many of my precious family and friends have believed and prayed right along with me. I can't thank them enough (you know who you are). I daydreamed about how I would feel, how it would look and how I would act. I don't think it will hit me until we are driving on I-10 and looking back and waving good-bye.

Today, I'm moving "home" to Tennessee and I'm just completely speechless. I think I'm afraid I'll wake up. Teryn says it will hit her when I call her from the truck. Tawni seemed shocked yesterday that we are actually coming!

I wasn't born in Tennessee and only lived there for a few years. But it's home to me. It's the place where Tawni, Teryn, Chad and Salem live. Where my incredible, lifelong friends, Val and Trudy, live (and their amazing families!). It's only a 6 hour drive to where my daughter Kendra attends college and where I can begin my visits again with my Granny, Uncle Alan, Ann and friends in North Carolina.

Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? As I sit here staring outside the window, there it is. The moving truck loaded to the brim. There was no room for all our stuff, so I had to leave some of it behind. It bothered me a lot and then I thought "Stop caring about this stuff, you're going home to what really matters!"

Our Arizona home is now empty. All that fills the walls now are the memories we created over the past 3 years. I admit, this never felt like home to me, only a stop-over. These last 3 years have dragged by for me. Being away has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, although I know the Lord did not bring me here in vain. I've learned so much about myself, my family and what is really important.

Yes, "Home" is where the people you love the most are and that's where I'm going today. Home. Home. There's no place like home.

I'm coming girls. Mommy's coming.

Happy 15th Birthday Kolby Girl!

Today I celebrate the birth of my youngest daughter, who was my pleasant surprise. One morning while driving to visit my Mom and Granny, I had this strange sensation to stop at a drug store and pick up a pregnancy test. I wasn't late, but somehow, I just KNEW. I didn't say anything to Mom or Granny, I walked in Mom's house, said hi to them and announced, "I've got to pee."

I went into the bathroom, took the test and walked out with it, looked at the two of them, held it up and said, "Guess what?" They were very happy. I, on the other hand, was shocked.

This was totally unexpected. I thought I was done. My youngest, at the time, was Kendra, who was 3. Tawni and Kendra had been hoping for another baby. So, I knew when I told her and Tawni that I was pregnant, they would be thrilled. I also knew telling Teryn would be a different story, so I needed to pick just the right time. I decided when I picked her up from school, I would tell her. She was in the back seat with her best friend, Lacey. Maybe she wouldn't react so badly in front of her friend. I was wrong. She was not happy and she made sure I knew it! But since the day of Kolby's birth, Teryn has treated her as her own! She adores her. I know that Teryn couldn't imagine her life without Kolby, like all of us, but I will never forget that day! I'm sure Teryn remembers it too!

Kendra decided that I was having twins. She'd walk around the house singing, "Mommie's having two babies, Mommie's having two babies! There are two babies in your belly!" I kept saying, "Stop saying that!" She wouldn't. One night, I started bleeding. I was terrified. I called the doctor. He told me to stay in bed and come to his office first thing in the morning. When we arrived, he took us back and did an ultrasound (Kendra was with us, listening to every word the doctor said). I cried, "I lost the baby, didn't I?" He said, "Yes, you did lose one. But, this one is doing just fine." I said, "This one?!?" Once again, I was shocked.

When we got to the parking lot, Kendra stopped. She threw her hands out and said, "Wait a minute! You mean there were two babies in your belly and now there's just one?" "Yes, Kendra", I answered. "Are you sad, Mommy?" "Yes, sweetie, but I'm happy too, cause Mommy is still having a baby!" She looked at me, put her hands on her hips and said, "SEE!! I told you there were two babies in your belly! You didn't believe me! My baby brother is in Heaven and my baby sister is in your belly!" I was speechless. And I wasn't about to argue with her.

Seven months later, on May 14, 1996, Kendra's prophetic word came true! With Teryn and Tawni beside me, encouraging me to push, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy 7lb baby girl. We had been taking bets all day about what time she'd be born. Tawni won! She said 10:38 p.m. and that's when Kolby made her entrance into the world! My little baby girl laid in the hospital nursery for two days while we decided what to name her. We were fighting over Kelsey or Kolby. Obviously, we chose Kolby and I'm glad we did. It fits her. Kolby Alexandra. She's been a blessing in our lives ever since. What can I say about the "Kolby Girl"? She's genuine, compassionate, caring, hilarious, sensitive, smart, organized (her clothes are color coordinated!) and even a talented chef! She made me Chicken Alfredo for Mother's Day and it was delicious! She plays sports and dress up. She says she likes to play sports for her twin brother and dress up cause she's still a girly girl! The kid is talented! We all love and spoil her like crazy and she's a joy to everyone who meets her. Fifteen! You'll be driving next year! May the Lord God help me! May the Lord help us all!! I love you!

All I can say now is, thank God for His little surprises!

Happy Birthday Tawni "Bear"!

Twenty five years ago, I was working at a hospital emergency room when I realized I was a little "late". I asked one of the doctors (one of the perks working at a hospital!) if he would order a pregnancy blood test. I knew this was the quickest, surest way to know for sure. I went to the lab, had a vial of blood drawn and then all I could do was wait for the results. It didn't come before my shift was over so I would have to continue my wait at home. It was the longest 2 hours of my life!

The phone rang. I grabbed it before the second ring! "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" This was definitely a surprise, but a pleasant one. I was shocked, but smiling at the same time. I was going to have a baby! This baby would be joining her sister in about 7 months.

Without going into a lot of details, her arrival didn't come without some challenges. I almost lost her several times throughout my pregnancy.

But, we made it. And, fifteen hours into labor, the nurse checked me and said, "You have several more hours to go, so just try to relax. It's going to be awhile." Literally, within minutes after she left my hospital room (I'm not kidding, it was minutes!), I looked over at her father (who was sitting in a chair reading a magazine!) and said, "Something's happened. This baby is ready!" He said, "No, it's not. The nurse said it would be awhile. You're wrong." He went back to his magazine! I screamed, "Go and get her!" He still didn't move. I pressed my nurse call button. She came back and checked me. And, guess what, there she was, my baby girl, ready to make her entrance into the world!

On that momentus day, 26 years ago, May 5, 1985 at 3:26 p.m., I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, 7lb 9oz baby girl named Tawni Blair.

And she has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Tawni is beautiful, gifted, talented, free spirited, genuine, funny, compassionate and has a heart like no one I've ever known. I am blessed that God chose my womb to carry her for 9 months (more like 10 since the little brat was late!).

Twenty six years! Tawni, you are not only my daughter or your sister's sister, you are a woman and now a Nurse! It blows my mind. My gosh, time flies. Seems like yesterday you were getting stuck in the dryer, picking your nose, making family videos or sneaking out of the house! Oh wait, it was just yesterday! LOL! Just look at you! You are a beautiful, wonderful human being who travels to places where you see a need. You just returned from your 3rd trip from Haiti doing what you do best, helping and serving others. And, despite the challenges you've faced over the past 2 years, perservered through nursing school. You are truly an inspiration to me and so many others!

So, Happy Birthday, my Tawni "Bear". You truly are one of the greatest accomplishments in my life and one of the best things I've ever done. I could not be more proud to be called your mommy. I don't deserve you, but, like it or not, you're stuck with me. I am your mother and you are my daughter. I've got the stretch marks to prove it! (I'm sure you miss hearing that, huh?!) I am blessed to be your mother.

I love you. High as the sky, deep as the sea and all the air that's in between.

Salem and Me

I skype with my granddaughter every chance I get, which if I'm lucky, is daily. My goal is at least once a day, but sometimes I beg her Mommy (my daughter) for 2 or 3 skype visits! The love I have for this tiny, 2 ft, 30 lb. little girl can't be described in words. She and I share a special bond that I can't explain. Teryn said when they were at the Mac store the other day, Salem was pointing at the laptops yelling, "Mimi!!!". The sales guys asked Teryn what she was talking about. Teryn replied, "Oh, she thinks her Mimi is in every computer." Sad, isn't it?

During our skyping visit the other day, I "felt" myself being lifted up and taken somewhere. She does this often while we're skyping. She will "carry" me into her playroom, sit the computer on the floor and we "cook" or read a book together. I cherish my times with Salem. Of course, I'd rather be there physically, but for now, I must try and be content with the time I can get with her.

On this day, as she "carried" me away saying "c'mon Mimi!", Teryn watched her to see where she was "taking" me. She struggled with the computer because it's not the lightest thing for a 20 month old to carry! I waited, wondering where I'd end up this time. Then, she did it. She carefully placed me where she wanted me. It broke our hearts. We smiled and cried at the same time. Teryn was able to capture the moment in this picture. Salem's daddy is a musician in Nashville and she loves to listen as he sings and plays his guitar.

Apparently, she loves hanging out in his guitar case too. And this time, she brought Mimi along.

"Sound Therapy and The Like"

This past Friday, my youngest daughter flew to NC for her spring break visit. This meant that George and I would have a week without children. Although we both love our kids, we also cherish our "alone" time.

I asked George what he thought about going up to Bisbee for the day. It's one of our favorite places to visit, which is surprising since you wouldn't consider us as the "Bisbee Kind". He agreed it was a great idea, so we made the necessary arrangements. The next morning, we were on our way. Traveling to Bisbee is a short, hour and a half drive for us, a great time for conversation and beautiful scenery.

Before we'd headed out, I'd checked the happenings going on in Bisbee for the weekend. My husband (an ex-hippy) was thrilled when I told him there was a tribute concert to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd that night (which was fantastic, by the way!). I also told him about a clinic I'd read about offering free massages! He was happy for me, knowing how much I love a good massage.

When we arrived in Bisbee, we parked, checked into our hotel room and began exploring the town, searching for the clinic. The steep hill we climbed to reach it only motivated us more. When we arrved, the "therapists" looked thrilled to see us! Seemed they hadn't had much traffic that day. We were thrilled too, as George and I were more than ready for our free massages!

We filled out some paperwork and then I was escorted by a gentlemen for my "sound therapy", (sound what?!) while my husband was taken for his Reiki Treatment (Reiki Who?!). OK, this was not what we were expecting. No offense to anyone who gets something out of these types of treatments, but the sound treatment was a wasted 20 minutes of my life and the Reiki Treatment was, let's just say interesting. Well, what did I expect? After all, we were in Bisbee, AZ, a town filled with new age religion, psychics, card readings and other alternative lifestyles.

Needless to say, upon our departure from the "clinic", my neck still hurt and I think my husband wanted to strangle it, but we laughed all the way back to our hotel.

It was a great way to start the weekend!

"GOOD INTENTIONS"

Mine was "Tommy Dog", hers was "Bandit". It started out as a great idea. A mother/daughter event that we would cherish forever, an event that would help us to bond and appreciate our surroundings. The mountains are beautiful here in Arizona. The wildlife everywhere. Sunsets are magnificent and you never know what you'll see. I would consider myself in fairly good shape. I'm an adventurous person, who enjoys spontaneity and trying new things. I'm that person who never backs down from a challenge or believes in that "it can't be done" attitude.

This morning, while my precious daughter was still sleeping, I had an idea. I made the call, booked the appointment. Then, I woke her up to tell her! She was less than enthusiastic, but tried not to let it show. She knew this was a big deal for me. Secretly, she was interested, but she's 15, so she can't show it. It's in the teenage rule book, of which she knows by heart.

We arrived 5 minutes early. I paid the bill. It was time. They asked a few questions and based on our answers, selected the perfect choice for us. We were starting to get nervous. Ok, it's going to be fine. This is safe. A beautiful afternoon, with great scenery and excellent weather. This was going to be great! We are about to create memories that will last a lifetime!

Well, we were right and we were wrong. Our Mommy/Daughter Adventure didn't turn out quite as I'd expected it to. For one thing, I can't walk. My daughter hasn't stopped complaining about how sore she is and has sworn off these kinds of outings forever. She refuses to participate ever again, not just with me, but her future husband, best friend or anybody else who asks. Her exact words, "Mommy, I'm not a country girl, I'm a city girl. Screw that country, cowgirl thing. Never again."

Yes, their names were "Tommy Boy" and "Bandit", or as my daughter affectionately calls them, "Demons".

And, we made a memory alright. We've got the bruises to prove it.