We buried you today. It's hard to believe that just a week ago I met you at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning to hang with you before surgery. I thank God that I moved back here six weeks ago. God's timing is impeccable. He knew He was calling you home. How precious of Him to allow us so much time together these last few weeks. I'm so grateful that He brought us right up the road from each other once more! Our four day girls' sleepover last month rocked! Junk food, 70's music, Arby's, KFC, all that crap we both love so much! I thank God in Heaven for that time with you.
When they were wheeling you away on the gurney to surgery, you gave your famous thumbs up sign. You were crying. I knew you tried not to, but it's ok. I cried too. I know you were so scared. So was I, but I couldn't let you know it. I had to do my best to be your encouragement, your rock, your support throughout your illness, just as you have been to me so many times the past 25 years. You deserved no less of me.
I spoke at your service today and sang "This is the Air I Breathe". Terry picked it. I knew you loved that song and I know how much you loved to hear me sing. It was so difficult, my Love, but I did it. I don't remember everything I said, but I felt you there helping me through.
These past 3 years since you were first diagnosed, I never took it too serious. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was bad, I knew that it sucked, but I never wanted to believe that this could actually kill you. Ok, I'm lying, I might have thought about it for a minute, but I didn't allow myself to go there. I couldn't.
I told everyone today about our talk before your surgery. How you told me you were really scared this time and it felt "different". I told them how I said to you, "Trud, whatever happens, it's a win-win for you. If surgery doesn't go well, you win because you'll be with Him! And if it does and you are healthy again, you win because you get to stay with us." And you agreed. I have to confess, I believed it and I still do, but it still sucks that you're not here with me. That's the selfish nature in me coming out again. I know you're used to that.
I love you Trudy Taylor. We may not get that condo on the beach in our old age, but when I get there, maybe we can share a mansion.
1 comment:
Victoria, You are an awesome lady and i know you loved Trudy with all your heart. Trudy would be so Proud of you. This made me cry but i know Trudy is at Peace now and we all will miss her so very much for the rest of our lives. Trudy was my Sister in law. Im married to her oldest Brother Ed. Im very Blessed to be part of this family. Ive never been so loved til i married her brother. It was a blessing to know Trudy.
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