Life Must Go On Without Her

It's been months since I wrote a blog about my precious Trudy.  I felt like it was time.  She's been gone now for 14 months, even though it seems like yesterday we were decorating my place in TN.

I miss her so much.  Her husband, Terry, and the boys, Donnie and Cody miss her too.  They've done much better than I would have ever expected.  I know she'd be proud.

Trudy left a legacy through her family and will forever hold a special place in the hearts of all who knew her.  So many times since she's been gone, I've desperately needed her, especially these last several months.  I miss her wisdom, discernment, encouragement, her wonderful hugs and I just loved the way she scratched my head.  We shared a friendship that comes along once in a lifetime. 

Trudy and I drove each other crazy too! It made me crazy how insecure she could be because she never saw what I and everyone around her did.  It made me sad.  Here was this amazing human being with a heart for people and gifts and talents I envyed, yet she struggled about whether she was making a difference in the world.  This girl could take a swatch of fabric and sew a dress, apron and curtains for her entire house!  She took yard sale finds and turned them into treasures.  And her cooking?!  Exquisite.

I still talk to her and play our song regularly.  Donna Summer's "Last Dance" can be heard throughout my house on a regular basis.  It makes for a great "cleaning" day song or just when I'm in the mood to dance!  I visit her grave, wear her clothes, jewelry, carry her purses and even own a couple of her bra's!  These items help me feel a little bit closer to her.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of her.  Driving into work was "our" time to catch up or just complain.  I miss those mornings.

Terry and I have definitely gotten closer.  He's become another brother to me.  We're able to share memories and talk about Trudy in a way others may not understand.  The boys are doing exceptionally well.  They miss her so much.  The times I've visited their house, Cody just sits and stares at me.  We resembled eachother so I think my presence reminds him of her.  I'm ok with that.

Life does go on, but it's never the same after you lose someone.  Her picture sits in my office to encourage me.  When I'm having a bad day, I can look at her face and hear her sweet voice cheering me on, telling me everything's going to be alright.  Fifteen months later and I still can't believe she's not a phone call away.

I am blessed to have wonderful friends in my life, a fantastic family and work that I'm proud of.  Only one thing missing.

My best friend, my Trudy.