Nursing, Divorce and Tawni Bear

My second daughter, Tawni, is 24 years old. And this Friday, August 21, 2009, she will graduate from Nursing School. This moment is about so much more than a nursing diploma. It's about her independence. It's a milestone in her life. Read on to find out why.

I will be traveling to Nashville on Wednesday for this momentous event and I'm so excited. I remember when Tawni and I first started discussing the possibility of her attending nursing school. I immediately encouraged her to move forward. Tawni has such a special gift with people, she is filled with compassion for others and is one of the most generous people I've ever met. She's really special. Noone who ever meets her regrets it. And they never forget her either.

My daughter has become a woman over the past few years. She graduated high school, went on the mission field, lived on her own and then met Thad. They eloped and have been married a little over 3 years now. I'll never forget the night she called to tell me. I knew she'd gotten married before she said anything. After she told me, I told her I had to hang up the phone. I was at my friend, Stephanie's house. I cried. I would have liked to have shared the moment with her. After awhile, I called her back and told her that no matter what, I loved her and I would do my best to support their marriage. And I did.

But, I admit now, the feeling that Tawni had missed out on something else God had for her never completely left me. As a mother, it is very difficult to keep your mouth shut (especially when you're a mother like me).

Yes, Tawni has worked extremely hard this past year to complete nursing school. She's had test after test after test. She's called me several times so stressed that she wanted to give up and quit. I pleaded with her to hang in there. I told her I knew it would be worth it and she was going to make a great nurse. She owed it to her future patients to hang on. She did. She continued to push herself. She did that on her own, it had nothing to do with me. I want to make that clear.

I don't rejoice in what I'm about to tell you. Not completely anyway. Early this year, a week before finals that would make or break her nursing career, Tawni was confronted with some devastating news about her husband. I was there the day she found out. Even I will admit, I was shocked, then sad, and then pissed. I wanted to kill him for hurting my Tawni Bear.

Without saying more than I feel I should, I will tell you that my daughter, Tawni, has filed for divorce from her husband of three years. She has biblical grounds. My heart breaks for what my Tawni Bear has endured this past year. I've watched her struggle the past few months, but she's my hero. She continues to hold her head high and is now preparing to walk across a stage to accept her Nursing Diploma. I think my Bear has realized that she's stronger than she ever thought and that God will never leave her.

I, along with many other friends and family members, will be there on Friday night. We will shed some tears, cheer her on, celebrate with her and hold her tight. I look forward to the new chapter in my daughter's life. And I feel privileged to be a part of it.

As for Thad. He has to not only live with what he's done, but he has to live knowing the best thing he ever had is gone. In my opinion, he never deserved her.

Oh and those finals? I don't know how she did it, but she passed every single one of them. That's my Bear.